Saturday, August 30, 2008

Ramadhaaaaan, Ramadhaaaaan, Ramadhaaaaan (And Shawaal!)

I reeeeally hate when a normal word gets stuck in your head as a little tune. 'Ramadhan' is now sung to me constantly by nasal little children, because of this INCREDIBLY catchy song. Not good.

So, with Ramadhan coming up and all, I decided to give myself some pretty simple goals:
1. Stop wasting so much time
2. Be more Islamic

I know that #1 could be counted as part of #2, but since timewasting is a huge problem for me, I had to count it separately. And I know you're meant to be specific in your goals, so for #2, my main things are
a) quit with the backbiting [I think this'll need to be a coordinated campaign with family and friends - from experience it's too tough to go it alone!] and
b) make more of an effort to pray on time.

For #1, though, I need to
a) stop watching so much TV - which is gonna be hard with the new season of Heroes starting :( and
b) [more importantly] not use the internet so addictively. Basically, I'm hoping to go cold turkey on most things: Facebook (especially Facebook graffiti), Reddit, feed readers - and me own blog.

So, Ramadhan mubarak (whenever it starts!). Hope everyone has a productive and successful Ramadhan inshallah - see ya at the other end :)

McPagal x

Friday, August 15, 2008

Is this a rant about rants?

Things I frequently rant about:



--- Bad Drivers ---

Get off the road, maniacs! Double parking = not acceptable. Indicators are for the greater good. Driving your car into the backseat of mine will not make me go any faster.



--- Stupid Ass Huge Cars ---

Mainly because they are driven by the above. Also because they are ugly and unnecessary, and make me feel unsafe in my little Polo. And because they are almost always parked stupidly. And because one time I got trapped in the petrol station when this huge Escalade thing [who the heck buys an Escalade in the UK? I thought they were marketed purely to overweight, sweaty Americans?] came up beside me, and because of the car's obesity, I couldn't open my door. So the big dafty driver started swearing at me to move, because he couldn't get out either! Moron.



--- Bad Women Drivers ---

Sorry to continue the motoring thread - but ladies, you are letting the side down! Parallel parking is NOT hard.



--- Stupid Women ---

For some reason, more annoying than stupid men.



--- Guys Who Love Talking About Themselves ---

I have only known one woman like this, so I have decided to generalise. There's a type of guy who likes to come up to people randomly and start a conversation, just so they can tell you every mundane detail of their life you didn't want to know. It's very hard to get rid of them. I have tried changing the subject, leaving, looking very obviously bored, kicking them in the shins and running away [the last one was only wishful thinking], but at best they leave, only to continue the conversation later.



--- Receptionists ---

I really, really hate them. Once, I met a nice receptionist. It was a memorable day. All the others I have ever had the bad luck to encouter have been mean old nicotine-stained hags, who live only to ignore phone calls, be rude to clients, and file their nails. Oh, and make sickly sweet personal calls on the business line ("Oh darling, I love you too!... Yeah, I'm at work. There's a big queue at the desk, hang on- Whit is it?! Can I help you?! - ...there, that's them gone").

The first person I ever dealt with at University was an old crone at a desk, who I was asking about registering for Open Day. First, she made me repeat myself a few times. Then, she laughed at me for a while. After that, she went into the back room to meet the rest of her coven so she could tell them all about the crazy Asian girl at the desk, asking a simple question. Finally she told me she couldn't help. I didn't poke her in the eye or anything - a fact I am proud of to this day.



--- P.E. Teachers ---

What's the point in them? Oh, I know. They exist just to make the unsporty kids feel horrible about themselves, while they fawn over the popular, sporty ones to retain their lost sense of youth. The ones who are good at this jobs like to make up little ploys to further their evil, like making everyone do a fitness test [aka the *bleep*ing bleep test] and posting the results in a big table. This allows schoolkids to point and laugh at the people at the bottom of the table, especially the Muslim girl who only ran 2 lengths then walked out in a huff because the boys were all watching the girls instead of staying in the locker room like the girls had to when the boys were running it and she refused to do it only she was forced to by threat of suspension and also afterwards when she complained to the head teacher the PE teacher started doing impressions of her and I really hate PE teachers :(.



--- Alternative Medicine ---

Herbal remedies and whatnot - okay. But weird stuff that has no basis, and no evidence to say it works? Load of rubbish. And they want it to be provided on the NHS?! Pants!



--- Stupid Desi Culture: Sexism ---
"Oh my word, did you hear about X? That girl is running wild! She goes out to school every day! And she's even planning to go to university!"
"Isn't her brother that drugdealing gangster that held up a nightclub last week?"
"Aww, boys will be boys!"



--- Stupid Desi Culture: Racism ---

I already had a rant about this here. You'd think that'd get it out of my system - but clearly it didn't. What bugs me most is desi's who cry racism every time they fail an exam, bomb at interview or get pulled over for speeding, but are all darky-hating themselves. Or call all Black people 'Jameekay'. Or all Chinese/Japanese/Korean people 'chinkys'.



--- Stupid Desi Culture: Marriage ---

Why should the boy's parents (mostly the mum) check out the girl, her family, her house, and probably when no-one's looking, her personal stuff - before the girl even meets the boy? Why should they have to meet at her house anyway - if the parents want to meet first, can't it be somewhere neutral? Why is it that the boy's parents are given the power to say 'yes' or 'no' after a first meeting, and the girl's parents usually defer to them, and get all twitchy while they wait in the meantime? Why is the girl expected to stay with her in-laws after marriage, even if they're perfectly well and healthy? Why the heck should a girl be made to feel like she is no longer a part of her own parent's family, but belongs to her in-laws? And really, why should she take his name, and be referred to on wedding invitations and stuff as "Mrs Her-Husband's-Full-Name"?

Oh, and those people that think it's cute when a guy goes to check out a rishta and asks for the younger model instead. Siiiiiiiick!



--- Shisha ---

It's bad for you. It stinks. It's associated with drugs. It's got a seedy culture. Ew.



--- Dieters ---

I can't be bothered hearing about how healthily they're eating and how much exercise they do. I don't want to know how unhealthy my food is before I scarf it down. If you're losing weight - good for you! Just don't tell me every detail.



--- Celebrity Culture ---

They're all nobodies! The papers make stuff up about them, and it distracts from the real news! LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!



--- Photoshopped Honeys ---

Magazines and adverts and films and everything give the impression that people can have flawless, perfect, and often anatomically incorrect features. And the people that look at said media and aspire to it. It's not real, guys! Didn't you see the Dove evolution ad?! I guess sometimes it takes seeing when it goes all wrong to realise that it's just fakery.

Oh also, there's that DFS advert that always gets that awful Nickelback Rockstar song stuck in my head - they were too cheap to get people to dance around in front of real sofas (like, you know, the ones they sell) so they stuck them all on afterwards. For some reason, it's really irritating.


--- Holidays ---

NOT LONG ENOUGH.


***

It seems I rant rather a lot. Maybe... perhaps... I need to chill out? Ramadhan's coming up, I'll give it a try!

(Also, thanks to the 7 people who answered my 'do you like polls' poll with yes. You all rock.)