How to Ruin Your Mum's Favourite Song

This post comes to you in honour of mother's day, which as a somewhat less than perfect daughter, I am clearly honouring a day late.

Step One: Identify your mum's favourite song. In my case, I think it's this:


(although with my innate knowledge for ruining songs, my mum might be deceiving me deliberately...)

Step Two: Sing the lyrics as often, as loudly, and of course as tunelessly as possible. You don't even need to know most, or indeed any of the words. Anything you don't know can be replaced with lalala's or neeneenee's. If you're adopting pro tactics, learn one line and make it fit the entire melody.

Step Three: When you are forbidden from doing the above, hum the melody from time to time, interspersed with amateur beatboxing and shouts of 'break it down!'.

Step Four: This part is treading into dangerous territory. Again, take to singing the song, but now subtly change or indeed completely overhaul the words to be offensive, irritating, and downright unseemly. Bonus points go for toilet humour and abstract symbolism.

Step Five: Take your pillow, your duvet, and maybe your entire winter wardrobe. Duct tape the whole lot to your body. It will be invaluable protection while you receive the (possibly chapal-aided) beating of your life.

Step Six: As a mother's day gift, promise not to do any of the above again. See the tears of happiness well up in your mother's eyes. For bonus bonus points, make her a cup of tea.

To my long suffering mother who sometimes reads this blog at work as of a couple of weeks ago: I love you so much, and am constantly surprised that you put up with me too :)

Canya tell whut it is, yet?

So iMuslim did this post where she took some pretty cool macro shots of stuff in her room, and because I'm all about the cool (and also all about the lazy-blog-updates, and stealing other people's ideas), I thought I'd copy her!

Most of these are pretty obvious, but hey, try to guess what all this junk is before I tell you why not. This should be made considerably harder by the fact that the photography kind of sucks - I can't remember if I remembered to switch on macro for all these, besides they were all taken on a camera phone, and also my hands were shaking and aliens landed and the lighting was poor. 5 excuses in one sentence, I think that's quite commendable.























Answers:
1. My rubbish dental toolkit. Rubbish because we had to buy it for like £50, even though it was only needed for 1 year, But cool because man, you never know when you'll need a wax knife.

2. A plaster cast of my teeth, as of 4 years ago.

3. Pennies. There's 21 in a wee wooden box, one from every year of my life. Some people are born great. Others achieve greatness. Still others collect pennies and photograph them.

4. My Filofax. I love this thing. The weird blue-ness in the background is some abstract Vista background.

5. My wallpaper, I haven't drawn on it, I promise.

6. Origami froggy! Needs no further explanation.

7. A cool wooden puzzle thing, from a set of 4. This one is the least fiddly, and the second most pretty.

8. Some books. They're not all just Oxford Dictionaries of Words and Phrases and Terry Pratchett. There may be a medical dictionary and a BNF in there somewhere too.

9. A glass egg ornament thing I bought from TK Maxx on a whim, then regretted as my arm near enough fell off as I carted it home. It'll be worth it when my glass chicken hatches though.

10. The wheel of my chair. Check that out.

11. My beloved stationery drawer. I feel blissful just looking at it. A clearer angle:

*drool*

Uhhh.. that's all for today, folks. Except for me telling you that I'm finishing this post a full week after starting it. Now that's dedication.